Make It Go Away!

My heart belongs to a box of ashes upstairs. Sometimes I wish, I always wish I could have taken the cancer away from her and it had been me as ashes in the box upstairs. I’m at times really living like I am ashes, but I can make it all go away through travel. My Mother was starting to live life when she got cancer. She wasn’t taking any shit and she was doing her thing. I had always done my thing. Of course the mother wants it to be them and not their kid, but my mom…She was all I had. Everything paled in the reality of her sickness and I didn’t even care I had a husband. So, make it all go away. Who do I talk to or tell? I run. I travel. I see new sites and yet it pains me because I don’t want to do anything new unless she can see it too, or I can call her and tell her about it.