Make It Go Away!
My heart belongs to a box of ashes upstairs. Sometimes I wish, I always wish I could have taken the cancer away from her and it had been me as ashes in the box upstairs. I’m at times really living like I am ashes, but I can make it all go away through travel. My Mother was starting to live life when she got cancer. She wasn’t taking any shit and she was doing her thing. I had always done my thing. Of course the mother wants it to be them and not their kid, but my mom…She was all I had. Everything paled in the reality of her sickness…
Moving from City to Country
Every day I have the opportunity to make a choice. To embrace where I have been planted and trust my Husband and my decision to move to the country, get in my car, drive 45 min to an hour with oil truck traffic to the nearest town, or sit in my PJs, cry about my mother passing too soon, and get angry to look out and see grass and not neighbors and sidewalks. Some days I choose trust. I get in my car, get my Mom’s 60th birthday party soundtrack CD in, roll down the window and start to drive. Unfortunately since she passed I choose PJs and tears.
A Pass Through Grief While Enduring Mental Illness
