One way I cope right now is through dancing.
Her hands trembled for a second. It would only have been noticed by her or her best friend, she always able to see beyond what was actually happening. She’d ask, “why,” I’d answer “lithium!” Which is true, but that’s not why today. She trembled at the thought that her body, so used to failing her, was failing her then. But not failing for the sake of failing or for safety or for recognition of something deeper going on. Her body was failing because she was so close to success. Her tremble was another hiccup, another reminder that if she kept failing it would prevent her from succeeding and she could…
Dear Ma,
I wish I could say the grief of losing you would hit me out of no where, but the reality, Ma, the heavy weight pulls me down into dark water. There is no sun where I go. There is no blue and white buoy attached to my arms, as heavy as if they were cast in cement. For a while I was above water, sitting on the boardwalk of life, taking in the sun just as the seagulls do. I saw the dark water below and realized only as I plunged in again that for a moment in time I actually was on top. Tears are hardly new in my…
5 Ways to Cope with Mental Illness During Covid-19
These times have been very trying on my mental health and have brought to life old feelings that I had thought, with therapy, I had conquered. With each day that has gone by, each of the demons that I felt were banished from my mind, have tip toed themselves to sit front and center as I work to regain my mental balance. I wanted to share 5 ways to cope with mental illness during Covid-19 that have proven, for me, to kick those demons back to where they belong, far from my life and my mind. 1. Create boundaries with your phoneIn the isolation many of us find ourselves, our…
“This Too Shall Pass.”
My Mother always told me, “This too shall pass,” whenever life threw me an issue that felt like a tornado in my world. When I struggled with my anxiety, she would encourage me to focus on what I could do and not on the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve, what if’s and if only’s. At the end of our conversations, she would say with kindness and confidence, “Meliss, this too shall pass.” Currently, as I look outside at the beautiful Earth Day 2020, I am reminded of where I have come from and how far I have stepped into the reality of the symbol above. My symbol above is a phoenix. It…
Help! Am I Crazy?
I hate to say I struggle with mental illness. I prefer to thrive with it. Show it who’s boss. Thank God for my meds and hear Mom’s sing song voice as she says “better living through chemistry” elongating the “e” sound the “y” makes and then laughing. But even as I thrive, there is an aspect of the struggle that I cannot deny. Grief is an emotion, but I would classify it in my life as a true illusionist. One of the things I fear is going through another episode, which does not occur when I am properly medicated. In my mother’s decline and in her passing grief became a…
Wife
Wife. Wonderful instigator of fury and electricity. I have always wanted to be a wife. When I was little I played with my neighbors granddaughter and we would make up our boyfriends and go on pretend dates with them and then meet at the play ground to tell each other how amazing our boyfriends were. Ha. My boyfriend was named Mike. A very Ken and Barbie kind of name. But the powers of the women’s movement years before my birth sent waves through my friends and everyone was driven for Ivy league schools and professions that would lead them to settle down in their 30s and then think about kids.…
A Pass Through Grief While Enduring Mental Illness
